Love Is Blind. So Are Free Hugs

Now that Stella is four, I am finding that life’s lessons seem to be needed day to day. Gone is the time when a mom’s love was the only thing that mattered — in its place, is a curious child who tests limits and wants answers.

Because of this, I always try to embed what I can in our daily activities. Maybe it is a little talk about kindness or teaching her empathy when she steals her brother’s Crayon. Perhaps it is talking about perseverance when she gets frustrated and wants to give up.
I often feel like maybe these little speeches wouldn’t be needed if there were more examples of these things in front of her. While I know there are good people in the world, it seems as though what little Stella sees is from those who are doing things that she has learned not to do.

“Why did that man not say excuse me when he bumped into you mommy?”

“Why are those people not talking nice to each other?”

“Why did (so and so) say to (such and such) that she was ugly today?”

Whether my little one is such a whistle blower or she just has a watchful eye, it often saddens me that she sees more of what is wrong than the beauty in what life can be.

I came across a video that I wanted Stella to watch. The video is of a man, Ken Nwadike, CEO of Superhero Events, who goes out to running events, stands on the course, and offers “free hugs.”

The “Love Movement” touches me for a number of reasons. First, I am a runner, and have been in many running events where I could have used a hug from someone. Second, when watching the videos, things like racism don’t exist. Nobody sees or thinks about color, fear, or gender. People see a genuine kind act and they go for it! Men and women cross over to jump into Ken’s arms for their free hugs.

These are the things I want Stella to see. I want her to see someone, a stranger to most, who takes his time to go and spread love to people. I want her to know that everyone deserves love and kindness no matter what age, gender, or color. I want her to know that random acts of kindness touch people forever and that she has the power to do that.

Whether you want a teachable moment or just want to feel good. Watch “Free Hugs” from the San Francisco Marathon last weekend.

Free Hugs San Francisco Marathon HD from Superhero Events on Vimeo.

When Life Gives You Lemons

When life gives you lemons, make lemonade; is that how the saying goes? I realize that this is a tough lesson for us all, especially when trying to teach it to your children.

This past Monday, I was glued to the internet as I watched the Boston Marathon. As a runner, it is the mecca of marathon events and as someone who was watching the event live last year when the bombings occurred, I couldn’t miss it.

I had several friends who had flown to Boston to participate after hard training to qualify. I had even more friends watching from home after missing their own qualifying time by seconds. One of my close friends decided to fly to Boston to support runners after he missed his own qualifying time by a few seconds.

Ken Nwadike, CEO of Superhero Events (they put on the Hollywood Half Marathon, Costume Party Run, and the Awesome 80s Run series) decides to make the trek to Boston after dealing with disappointment this year when his attempt to qualify for Boston failed by a mere few seconds.

Why? To go and support the thousands of runners (almost 36,000 to be exact) that had qualified and to show that the journey is not always about your own achievement.

Wearing a “Free Hugs” shirt and carrying a matching sign, this race director stood on the course and offered hugs to the participants running by. The reaction was astounding. As I watched his video of the experience, I couldn’t help but finally understand the truth behind life’s plan not always being in our hands.

You can see in this video the reaction that Ken received from his kindness of choosing to fly across the country to show his love and support for the Boston Marathoners. People not only run clear across the course but double back just to get one of his hugs.

Free Hugs

I showed Stella the video at which she asked, “What is that man doing?” I explained that his hope was to be a runner but since he could not, he decided to be a part of the other runners’ experience and spread hugs.

My innocent daughter smiled and replied, “I bet the runners liked the hug more than Ken running.” From the looks of the video, Stella was absolutely right.

So many lessons in such a simple act from random acts of kindness to the tough lesson of sometimes, things that we really want don’t happen for a reason because someone else has a bigger and better plan for us.

 

 

Huate Mom Goes Marathoner

Sometimes, with a family to manage, things seem impossible. There is no time, no help and too much to do. This past weekend I learned that nothing is impossible.

Last April I set a goal that seemed to be unreachable. At the Hollywood Half Marathon Expo, I walked past the Long Beach IBC Marathon booth and signed up for the full marathon. Although I was a seasoned half marathon runner, I had never given serious thought to running the full 26.2 miles. Who knows what was in the air that day, the smell of new running shoes maybe, but I did it. I signed up.
From that day the training began. Little by little, I plugged away building towards my marathon. I planned, I ran, I sacrificed. And so did my family.

While running is obviously a big part of my lifestyle, taking on the task of completing 15-, 20- and 23-mile training runs is a whole other ball game. Goodbye quick morning jogs; hello long three to four hour runs.

I often stopped along the way to reconsider. Training for the marathon was cutting into my already busy schedule and taking away from my family.

But, for anyone who knows me,  I don’t back down. I do what I commit to, and I had already committed to my first full marathon. In my mind, I had to do this for myself and there was no going back.

On Sunday, October 13, I awoke at 3:30 am. The cool fall weather I had been hoping for promised to hold out long enough to get through my big day. I said goodbye to my children the night before and, leaving them behind with my mom, the hubby and I drove downtown in the dark.

Standing in the corral at the marathon start, I knew I had done the right thing. All of the time, the training and the sacrifice had been worth it. I was about to check an item off my bucket list.
There were a number of times on course where my children came to mind. My heart and my soul stayed focused on the things that give me strength.

As a mom, there are so many opportunities that we shrug off because of our families, busy schedules and time constraints. Yet I learned that sometimes, seizing an opportunity can be a positive experience for the whole family. It gives us pride as well as reminders of strength and ability. I am so fulfilled by my marathon completion.

I watch Stella walk around with my medal around her neck and know that all the hard work has given my children a positive lesson in never giving up. It will remind them to go for the goals that they may think are impossible. And, this experience reminds me of how wonderful it is to be a haute mom.

I Run And Now I Run For Boston

Since I pride on being able to call myself a runner, and running is the ONLY thing that I will take time and do for myself, the events at the Boston Marathon have really affected me.

I know that terrible things happen in the world, and I am always saddened and trouble by heinous acts that happen on a daily basis (so much I rarely watch the news,) but this one really got to me.

Since I have run a number of race events, my last half marathon was two weeks ago, I felt sheer horror when I saw what happened at the Boston Marathon. I had been watching the race online since it started. I watched the men’s, women’s and push winners cross the finish line. I asked my hubby if he thought Boston was a realistic goal for me. I dreamed.

And then the bombings occurred. I immediately knew what it felt like to run in a race knowing that your loved ones were waiting at the finish line. I couldn’t imagine being in the situation. My heart broke and my stomach turned over.

After some time, I had to turn the television off.

I am going to cut to the good part. And there is one. During times that seem to be the very darkest, humans always pull together to help part the clouds and let the sunshine in. So many events popped up via social media to honor, to unite, and to take a stand. I wanted to do them all.

I came across a movement called Run For Boston. It was simple, and I liked that. There were three things to do. First, run. Second, wear blue or yellow on your run. Third, make a Run For Boston sign with the name of your city on it and upload it to the Facebook page. Easy peasy.

Runners for Boston - Long Beach, CA

On Wednesday night, a group gathered at a local park. Some were part of my Galloway running group. Others just wanted to Run For Boston. We are now all friends. We had our strollers, our dogs, and the kids. It was a family affair.

We walked and ran for Boston along with thousands across the country.  We put Long Beach, CA on the map for Run For Boston.

I don’t know why I am always surprised at the compassion and love of others. I was tickled that strangers chose to come out on their own to take a run in honor of the Boston Marathon Bombings. We even had people at the park thank us for doing what we are doing.

Most importantly, our kids got to see the good that can come out of people. With the terrible events monopolizing the news, it is important that they know that love does prevail, as does compassion and strength.

There were other groups that came together this week for the same reasons. Some running groups gathered hundreds while some runners grabbed their neighbor. But to me, numbers don’t matter because in this event, we are all united for Boston.

It's All About Being a Mom

Being a mom is hard. I learned that long time ago, when I had my first child.  And just when I thought I had figured it all out, I got pregnant. And now I have two little ones. Stella is just shy of three years old and our new addition, Carter is seven months.

My reward for sucking it up.

To make things a little more complicated, I just went back to work. Back to work as in my full time job and my part-time evening job. I love both jobs so it wasn’t difficult to go back except for the fact that now all the other things that have to get done have to wait until after 5 pm.

Some people say since the hubby is home (he lost his job at the beginning of 2013,) he can do those things that need to get done around the house.  For those of you who have hubbies, you can laugh with me. Ha.

Every now and then, I feel like a superhero. And it’s a good feeling.  Yesterday, I got to work at 7 a.m. I ran home at lunch to nurse Carter. I had to be at my second job by 4:00 and got back home around 6:00. I threw dinner on the stove, put the running shoes on and hit the pavement for a four mile run. I got back in time to have dinner with my family. Granted I was sweaty but beggars can’t be choosers.

There was a day when I might have thrown myself a pity party.  I would have been bummed because I had too many things to do to go out for a run.  Or I would have felt guilty for choosing to run (which keeps me sane) and then ordering take out, or not having dinner with my kids.

But this time I grabbed the bull by the horns and took charge. It felt good.  I have learned that sometimes, you just have to suck it up. Because maybe, every now and then, you can be a good mom. And that is what it's all about.

Mommy Needs a Meltdown

Why can’t I have a meltdown?

This is something I often wonder when I watch Stella, who is almost 3 years old, emotionally crumble when something doesn’t go her way.
 The "terrible twos" stage continues. The other day I watched her sob uncontrollably in a hunched over position after she learned that there were only orange popsicles left in the freezer.

Sometimes I want to hunch over and sob uncontrollably over things. Times in our household are not easy since we closed our retail store down at the end of last year. This has hit our pocketbooks, and our savings, which meant to supplement my income during child care leave, is dwindling away faster than we hoped.

Why can’t I just have one little meltdown?

My Meltdown Prevention Program -
finishing a half marathon last Sunday

In a world where being emotionally stable is a must, I wonder how others get through the tough times. As a parent, it is so important to model emotions in a healthy way. We need to teach our children how to be resilient and handle disappointment and frustration with a grain of salt. But sometimes, don’t we just want to scream at the top of our lungs?

I rarely cry. I keep it inside and let it build up until it eventually explodes. It maybe explodes once a year. Since our store has closed, perhaps a little more frequently.

Parents are supposed to be the “strong ones” and that just makes it even more important for us to have an outlet. Something we can do or someplace we can go to let it all out.

For me it is running. The one thing I can do on my own, in silence, alone with my thoughts. We all need a place like that. It keeps me from going into meltdown mode … most of the time.

Accomplishments for the Right Reasons

One of the things that we know as parents is that we have a crucial job of a role model. The biggest question isn't "How can I be a good one?" but should be "What do I want to model to my children?"

I decided a few months ago to raise money for The Leukemia and Lymphoma Society by running with their Team in Training at the Inaugural Tinker Bell Half Marathon at Disneyland. As I have said before, I used to be a runner and had slowly been trying to get my way back to where I used to be after having Stella. I thought this was a fitting goal and a great way to raise money for a wonderful cause in honor of a friend who had recently been diagnosed with non-Hodgkin's lymphoma.

I started training at the beginning of October and immediately had reservations. I'm always complaining about how little time I have as it is, and I began to question by sanity by taking on another task; one that would require a lot of time training. After talking it over with hubby, we decided that it was something that I should do. Nearly every Saturday morning for four months, I rose at 6 a.m. to meet my group for our runs. During the week, I got out of bed in the dark or ran late into the night in order to squeeze in my mid-weeks.

Days before Christmas, we found out that we were expecting baby number two. Hubby and I were overjoyed, and I again questioned whether or not running a half marathon is something I should be doing. Since quitting is not in my nature, with our doctor's blessing, I continued to train through first trimester exhaustion and morning sickness.

The half marathon was last Sunday, Jan. 29 th . I was really nervous in the days leading up to the event, but found myself excited while waiting in the corral Sunday morning at 5:30 a.m.

After a great run, passing the 13 mile marker, I had renewed energy knowing that Stella, hubby, and my brother were waiting at the finish line. Heading towards the finish, I caught a glimpse of my hubby holding Stella high above the crowd, trying to point me out. I stepped over to the side and called her name, waving, emotions rushing over me as I saw her, and knowing that after many months, I had completed the 13.1 miles (three months pregnant, no less.)

After making my way through the chute, Stella jumps into my arms. I have never seen her so excited as she says, "Mommy running." I asked her what she thought of seeing mommy run and Stella responds, "I clapping." and gives me a giant hug.

I knew at that moment that the training, the fundraising, and the completion of my half marathon were well worth it. As a mother, these are the things I want to model to my children, working hard, making sacrifices, perseverance, and mostly importantly, successfully accomplishing the goals that you set for yourself.

A memorable morning view

Stella admiring my medal

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Tis the Season

Four weeks ago I made the decision to raise money for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society by running the Tinker Bell Half Marathon with Team in Training.  The decision was not an easy one but was prompted when a close friend, Adam, of our was diagnosed with non-Hodgkin's Lymphoma at the early ago of 29.

Originally, I had planned on running the 5K event on the last weekend in January.  When I received news of the diagnosis, it immediately hit home, not only did I think of Adam as a brother, but having a very close relationship to my own brother, I could only imagine the impact it was having on his family.  Adam has just completed his second of six to eight chemo treatments this past week and remains in great spirits.

I am a mom, I work two jobs, and lately, I have had the majoirty of my days not end until 7 p.m. at night.  Was I crazy for trying to take on fundraising and training for a marathon in addition to all of this? After a long discussion with the hubby, we knew it was the right thing to do.  I showed up to sign-up on the very first day of training, almost a month after the rest of the participants.

The support that I have received in the past month has been amazing. People have been overly generous, and some that have supported me were a delightful surprise.  It has made me proud to be surrounded by so many caring people that are willing to step in for a wonderful cause. As I make small sacrifices to fit in my training (getting up before 5 a.m., being away from Stella even more than I already am) I know that this is truly a part of giving back and others would do the same for me.  This year, the holiday sprirt is in full force.

For more information and progress on my training and Adam's condition, please click here.



Me, Adam, and his sister Heather at an ugly Xmas sweater party
over the weekend.



Haute Mom Dilemma #57 - Falling Off the Wagon

Muffin top is not a term I am very fond of.  Especially since it can be used to describe a rather unsightly part of my body that seems to have developed somewhere during pregnancy.  Even after I lost the pregnancy weight, the annoying extra layer around my middle stayed put.  So long, low waisted jeans.

Over the past year or so, I packed on about five (ok, more like seven) pounds.  Again, normally not reason to panic, except now, those pounds are holding tight around my waist, kind of like Stella does when she doesn't want me to go to work.  But not as heartwarming.

I went back on a little diet about a month ago and along with my Team in Training workouts (have you checked out my webpage yet?) I was able to lose about five pounds!  Very exciting and the muffin top was diminished to minimal appearances.  And then came Thanksgiving.

I know I don't need to tell anyone about the damage that can be done on Thanksgiving, and if this was limited to one day it wouldn't be a big deal. As I peer in my fridge and look at the endless leftovers, it is quite apparent that the overeating may be here to stay.  And no, I don't have the willpower to fight it.  Even worse, Thanksgiving marks the beginning of the holiday season known for the delightful eats throughout the entire month of December and of course, the onset of the New Year's resolutions of dieting.

What to do when trying to battle the holiday treats?  Exercise is a simple solution, and again, with my half marathon just around the corner, it should be an easy fix.  Although with the shortened days, cold weather, and busy schedules, it is easier said than done.  I did take advantage of our 80 degree weather this weekend (don't hate me) and managed to take Stella for a long bike ride. Perhaps I will just embrace the extra winter layer for now until I come up with a better solution or find some willpower.  The sad thing is, the entire time I have been writing this, the stuffing and pumpkin pie in the fridge have been calling my name.  Give me strength.

My workout partner.

Taking on Cancer, Mile by Mile

We all know that feeling of doom when things get so busy, it seems like there is no way out. Being a full-time mom keeps us busy enough not to mention being a wife, housekeeper, employee, and cook, just to name a few. I often know that I am overextending myself with all of the things I try to do.

For this reason, I have decided to take on another adventure. Am I crazy? Yes, but it is for good reason. A few weeks ago, a close friend of ours, Adam Eves was diagnosed with non-Hodgkin's lymphoma. At 29 years-old, his entire world changed with one phone call.

The tumor is located in his chest and is a very aggressive tumor. In fact, his doctor has already spoken at a seminar about how severe his situation is and how fast growing the tumor has been. He has since completed two weeks of radiation and started chemotherapy treatment. It was his first of five to seven treatments over a time period of six months.

I had been training for a half marathon in January and decided to do some good with this at the same time. In honor of Adam, I have joined the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society (LLS) and Team in Training for the half marathon event. I will now be running the half marathon for Adam and to raise money for cancer. The services that LLS provides ranges from research to financial support for cancer patients and has helped others I know personally in the past. Additionally, our team has honorary members, and they are both children with cancer. This struck home even more, as a mother. I knew right then that it was a perfect fit.

I have found myself wondering why I have decided to take on yet another endeavor. Do I really need to dedicate more time to something outside of my family and job? The answer is yes. As a mother, a sister, a friend, and a health educator, I know the severity of cancer and the effects it has on everyone involved. I want to not only raise money to bring us closer to a cure, but I also want to raise awareness of the types of cancers and warning signs. Signs that may one day save someone else's life.

What are the causes and issues that you find important in your own lives? Do you ever think that you alone couldn't make that much of a difference? You can! We all can and I am going to do it mile by mile (for 13.1 miles), dollar by dollar. I wonder how long it will take me...

Join the fight to help those like Adam!

Haute Mom Dilemma #55 -Going For The Gold

I was 33 years-old when I found out that I was pregnant with Stella. I will describe that moment as an unexpected surprise. Children had always been something the hubby and I had seen in our future, just a little further away. Still, who was I kidding, I was 33 years-old and not getting any younger so it was one of those things I chalked up to "it's that time". We were able to embrace this surprise, feeling that there were so many things we had already been able to do as a couple, that it was the right time to expand our family.

Now that Stella is 17 months, I couldn't imagine life differently. She is honestly the sunshine in my day. Everything I do is for her and I wouldn't change a thing. Things in my life are obviously altered, and I feel that time is passing by at a dizzying speed. Every now and then, I see myself doing things I used to do before Stella; things that seem like a faint memory. I catch myself wishing I had more "me" time to do those things. Being a career mom with two jobs, as well as a small business owner, I know that if I want any time to myself, it is going to have to be scheduled time. The hubby is WONDERFUL with helping out so that I can have time to do things that every woman needs to do like getting my hair done, or a much needed mani/pedi. He is always saying that I should go out and do this or that while he watches Stella, but I feel guilty. I feel like I am already gone so much because of work, all my free time should be spent with her. Yet, I can't help but wish (shamefully so), that I could find time to do something on my own.

For that reason, I have decided to bite the bullet and do it. I have signed up to run a half marathon in January. I used to run all the time, I mean ALL THE TIME. I have run in the Long Beach Marathon, done the Long Beach Triathlon, and a number of Ragnar Races. Running used to be my escape, and now, I am lucky if I can get one run in a week. Not anymore. By signing up for the Tinkerbell Half Marathon at Disneyland this January, I am SCHEDULING something that will push me to take more "me" time and train for this run. It is a happy medium for me because running is something that is flexible and I can do it at the best time for my family, and even take Stella along if needed.

I do find it comical that I have to schedule a half marathon in order to take "me" time, but we all have to do what works for us, right? I urge all parents to find the time to do something they love to do on a consistent basis. It keeps us sane, it keeps us happy, and it keeps us healthy. What is something that you loved to do before the little ones came along? Get out there and do it again! Go for it! And if anyone needs a running partner...

Dusting These Babies Off

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Sidelined witih Sickness

Yesterday I was layed out in bed with a case of food poisoning from some bad sushi.  I know, I always hear about it but it has never happened to me...until now.  Something that is always in the back of my head when I am down for the count is my workouts, specifically my runs.  The fact that I am too sick to run is honestly one of the first things that pops into my head, especially since I have gained about 5 pounds over the course of the move (unfortunately I am a stress eater, not the opposite).  I also know that with flu season coming up, many of you haute moms (and your families) may come down with the sniffles and wonder if you can still stay on those workouts, whatever they may be.  Check out this article I wrote for Disneyland Runers that will sort it all out for you!
Should Flu Season Slow You Down?

Moving Plus Five Pounds

As Moving Watch 2011 comes to a close a realization crept over me last night as I was getting dressed for a night out on the town with some girlfriends. All those jeans and cute tops that I spent days unpacking over the last couple of weeks were not looking as flattering on me as they used to.  It wasn't because of the post-baby weight because I had lost that months ago.  Could it be?  As I sucked in my stomach to button up my jeans, I realized yes, it had happened. In all this craziness, both my diet and my workout routine had slipped and I had gained weight.  Not a lot, but just enough to bring that pudgy, muffin top back to my waistline. 

So my newest issue aside from still spending all of my spare time trying to turn this house into a "home" is trying to find the time and the energy to get back to my running routine.  Yesterday I literally had to FORCE myself to go out for a quick run before Stella's morning swim lessons.  I feel tired and unmotivated.  On top of that, I haven't gotten one single thing done outside of cleaning and unpacking because the move has totally consumed by life, and most of my three week vacation.  Ugh...where can a haute mom find some motivation?  You would think those extra inches of blubber creeping over my pants right now would be enough.  Perhaps I should go think about it over an ice cream sandwich.

Haute Mom Starts Training

I bit the bullet and signed up for a half marathon! The new Disney half marathon in fact! Running isn't as smooth for me as it used to be so I have been looking for some structured (as structured as I can get) training programs. Check out what I found in this article I wrote for Disnayland Runners! Maybe one of you haute moms can do the same!

Making Strides - Choosing a Training Program

Haute Mom Goes Running

Running was and still has been one of my favorite ways to get some "me" time and stay in shape.  I know many people don't like to run but I found once you find your stride, it is quite addicting and therapeutic; like shoe shopping but better for the haute mom figure!  I have decided to participate in a half marathon event at Disneyland in January.  I figure since we love Disneyland so much, and I love running so much, it would be a perfect fit.  The only problem is I haven't run more than 3 miles since I have had Stella so it's time to ramp up my running shoes.  Running after a baby (and with baby) is world's apart from before.  I realized it is like getting back on a bike after many years, only this bike has square wheels and weighs about 20 pounds more. 

I have been asked to be a writer for a fantastic new blog called Disneyland Runners.  It is a community blog by and for both runners and aspiring runners who participate in Disneyland Resort 5K, half marathon, and marathon races.  Those of you who always wish you could can stop on by as well!  I will be posting a weekly article about running and everything associated with running.  My piece is called "Kelley's Healthy Habits". Is there something you would like to read about?  Let me know! My first post is up and talks about my experience with hitting that pavement again after having Stella.  For many of you, I know that you may be in the same position.  It's hard to stay haute after a baby but we can all do it.  Check out my own issues with getting started and let me know what you think.  Even better, share your own stories about getting back into something you loved doing after having your little ones!

Kelley's Healthy Habits: The importance of starting off slowly