Thursday, November 28, 2013

Thanksgiving Thanks

It's no secret that my family has been going through tough times. But we are not different than any family. Everyone experiences ups and downs.

Something that I am finding out is that these tough times are changing my ways, my thinking, my attitudes. Changing them forever.

I have become so much more thankful than I used to be. Things that I used to take for granted have become daily blessings. It is surprising actually that I had so much and never noticed. Now that so much is gone, I'm more grateful for the little things.

So to say my thanks and spread the spirit of Thanksgiving, I would like to share my new found blessings I give thanks for.

1. I am thankful that my alarm goes off at 5 a.m. in the morning so that I can head out for a dawn run. I see the sunrise and smell early morning a few times a week, and that's something many people miss.

2. I am thankful that I can only run three or four miles during the week because I have to rush back to get ready for work. My job used to be something that tied me down, but now it is everything that allows me to provide for my family.

3. I am thankful for my community. There are people who I barely know who have come forward, in amazing ways, to offer help, assistance and support. It humbles me, and it makes me want to be a better person.

4. I am thankful for the little voices and pitter-patter of feet that wake me up on the few days I have the luxury of sleeping in. They are my children, my reason behind any action, my heart.

5. I am thankful for my health. I can run, jump, play and swim with my family.

6. I am thankful for the roof over my head. With its old electrical system and its leaky roof, it keeps us warm at night and provides shelter, which unfortunately, some people do not have.

7. I am thankful for my family. While family can be such a source of headache and drama, my family has circled around us, supported us during our worse times.

8. I am thankful for my hubby. We don’t always get along, and we don’t always agree, but I am most thankful that in our toughest times we have one another to lean on. I have a person who will always be on my team through thick and thin.

Regardless of situation or circumstance, it is the start of the season of giving thanks and spreading joy. Joy, like beauty, is in the eye of the beholder, and I am so grateful that my vision is clear.

Happy Thanksgiving from my family to yours!

Thursday, November 21, 2013

Mommy Fail?

Stella, my 3-year-old daughter, told me the other day that I was not being nice to her. Putting her dramatic nature aside, I was still hurt by this comment.
It made me think. Am I a bad mom? Was I being a bad parent?

Us parents are busy. We work, we budget, we cook, we clean ... When I get home from work, I’m tired. I get an average of six hours of sleep at night. Sometimes I feel lucky that I find time to wash my hair.

On the way to pick up the kids after work, I feel excited. For a moment I realize that I missed my little babies all day, and I can’t wait to hug them, kiss them, squeeze them and smell them.
And then that moment is gone.

I think about dinner and how I'm going to get that dinner on the table while I am home alone with two kids until hubby gets home. I think about all the things I meant to do that day but never got to. I think about the laundry, the dishes and the phone calls I want to return but won’t be able to once my kids start running loose around the house.

I feel tired. Sometimes I just want quiet for one minute, I want this so badly that I get home, turn on the TV and plop my little ones down in front of it in hopes that they will not need me for maybe five minutes. Just five whole minutes.

This of course, never happens. When they do need me, less than one minute later, I feel irritated and annoyed. I wonder why they just can’t leave me alone. Then I feel sad.

I see their precious, innocent faces and remind myself that they need me because I am their mother and that is my job. Am I bad parent?

No, I'm not a bad parent. I care for my family. I do what I can to survive, as many of us do on a daily basis. Considering the fact that Stella made her claim based on the fact that she was not allowed to have a cookie until after dinner further proves my point. Our children may make claims that are real to them but not realistic at all.

We must remember that no matter what we do, we do it for our kids. And that makes us all GREAT parents.