Missing Milestones and Avoiding a Meltdown (for both mom and child)

Oops, I did it again.

Nope, not the Brittany song but the real life, mommy moments that I have. Just when I feel like a mom rock star, I do it again and feel that dreaded, pit in the stomach, "I am a mom fail" feeling all over again. 

I missed a moment. Not like a temper-tantrum moment or a "watch me mom" moment but a really, crucial, it only happens once kind of moment. 

If it sounds like I have done this more than once, you are right. And it doesn't feel good. The missed first lost tooth, the Christmas recital...and now, the second missed pre-school graduation ceremony. (Yes, I said second.) I know, I know, "it's just pre-school" says every non-mommy out there. But you all get me. And I missed it. 

Now the reasons why these things happen are not important, but what is important here is that there are ways to cope with the missed milestones, ways that will benefit both you and your
child. The bottom line is that, no matter how hard you try, unless you are Wonder Woman (and we all want to be her), you are going to miss moments. At some point in time, it is going to happen.

So, the bigger question is HOW can we cope when these moments are missed? What are some strategies to use when that time actually comes? 

I have three strategies that not only will sooth your soul, but also that of your child's.

Forgive Yourself

Memories in the Making: Celebrate by having a family adventure,
going to your favorite restaurant or making a favorite meal!

We all know that "mom guilt" is a tough one. I am sure most moms, at some point during the day feel a sense of that and it is at its strongest when we miss a special moment. You are an amazing mom. Your children are fed, clothed and loved. That is really what matters.

Talk to Your Child
Whether you know you are going to miss the special moment or realize it in hindsight, talk to your child about their accomplishment. Remind them how much you love them, how proud you are and that there is no other place that you would rather be then there with them. It is not as important to give them the reason why you were absent but rather the fact that you missed not being able to be there.

Celebrate in Your Own Way 
All things can be fixed with a proper celebration. Who needs to traditional award ceremony in the dark auditorium anyway? Decide how to celebrate and make the milestone special. Better yet, ask your child how they would like to celebrate their accomplishment. Make your little one feel special and recognize them in your own, unique, family way. These are the memories that will last.

It is not about the missed milestone but rather the make up moment. You can create the joy and celebration of what your child has accomplished on your own time and in your own way. Chin up mama, I know how important it is to be there for EVERYTHING but unless you are going to follow your kids around FOREVER (please, don't be that mom), there will be missed moments. But you and your magical mom touch can still ensure that the special moment is celebrated and captured forever. 

Spending Time: Quality or Quantity?

We spend plenty of time with our kids, I mean, practically all our time, right? But have you ever stopped to think about what KIND of time you are spending?

Think about it, is your time simply time spent (quantity) or is it truly focused and uninterrupted (quality) time?

Remember the "good old days" when dinner time was simply that, the whole family sitting down catching up on one another's day. Or bed time included stories, possibly bible readings and prayers?

Quality time is crucial for connecting with your family. It is when bonds form, values and ethics are taught and honest communication is encouraged. Further, what messages are we teaching our kids about relationships and bonding when we allow time to together be constantly interrupted by television, iPads and phones? That our time with them is important...until our notifications sound?

I know this is hard! We are moms and we will multi-task! It is in our nature to try to do a bunch of things all at once, but when it comes to our loves ones, we need to make time for quality.

Here are three tips:

1. Include Your Children
Sometimes it is inevitable to have to get things done when your kids are carving attention. Try including them in the tasks that you have to do when possible. Take them with you to the grocery store and allow them to pick up a fruit or vegetable to purchase. If you can't avoid working from home, perhaps there is something they can help you with - stacking papers up neatly, sorting, etc.

2. Turn Off Technology

Hiking is one of our family faves for spending quality time.

Ok, I know, I am ADDICTED to my phone. Like sheer panic, the world is caving in when I can't find it addicted. But when I stop and think about how much I allow checking my phone to sidetrack me when I am with my kiddos, it saddens me. So...it's time to turn it off. Whether this mean ringers on silent, putting the phone in another room, enabling "Do Not Disturb", shut it down, at least for chunks of time and show your kids that they have you full, undivided attention. Better, yet, go someplace that is just not phone friendly. Our family's new favorite is going hiking - can  you say limited cell phone reception?

3. Divide and Conquer
Sometimes your kiddos need time with you one on one. When this happens divide and conquer. If you have more than one child, this is the perfect opportunity to split the kids up among parents or family members and give each of them some one on one time. Remember those special moments you spent alone with one of your parents or family members? Your kiddos will too. :)

Do you have special things that you do for quality time? Please share them with us!

Don't forget to join our rock star community of moms over at Haute Mom!

USA Inspired Party Pleasers

As many people prepare for company this weekend, it is time to share my favorite USA inspired snacks that I have come across. Inspirations that will take us all the way through Labor Day.

We can all do the red, white and blue fruit kabobs, and while always a favorite, this haute mom goes for savvy, smart and creative. Of course, it doesn't hurt that they are about as simple as boiling water.

A Sweet and Patriotic Treat

This idea is pure genius and sure to be enjoyed by everyone. Blog Room to Inspire hit the jackpot with some Red Vines and a bit of patriotic scrapbook paper.

• Cut the paper in strips
• Wrap the strips around a bundle of Red Vines
• Secure with double stick place. 

Easy even for a kitchen rookie like me!




Red and Blue With Flavor

This is at the top of my list because it involves, you guessed it, no cooking what so ever!

Note: This can also be mixed up with regular chips (hello blue potato and regular chips) as well as probably a hundred other yummy possibilities.

• Purchase patriotic paper cones or make some with scrapbook paper. 
• Toss in red and blue tortilla chips, colored potato chips or any other colorful combo of snack items!

The other thing that makes this straight from the smarty pants brain is that it cuts down on cooties. Nobody likes all those hands in the community chip bowl.

Patriotic Sugar Wafers

You had me at wafer. Everyone loves a little something sweet and is it just me or are cakes and cupcakes a little over done? Besides, none of us moms want our kids chowing down on that..I mean, hellooooo...can you say HYPER? I think these are the perfect size, simple to make (way more than baking) and who doesn't love a wafer?

You will need:

1. 1 package each of colored chocolate candy melts (found in the cake decorating aisle)

2. 1 package vanilla sugar wafers

3. Assorted sprinkles

• Melt half the colored candy melts according to instructions
• Lay out a sheet of parchment paper and dip each wafer into the chocolate
• Place the dipped wafers onto the paper and cover with sprinkles
• Allow to dry

Place in an airtight container so they don't go stale!

What a fun dessert thanks to Southern Made Simple! Perfect for kids to help with!

Here is to a great weekend of family, friends and love as many gather together in honor and thanks to those that have served and are serving our country.

Back to Work...Again

The time has come again. My second extended child care leave is coming to an end and I am about to transition from the world of Stay At Home Moms into that of the Working Mom. Times two.

I am so gratfeul to have been able to spend seven months at home with our little guy. The same amount of time that I had with Stella. I could not enjoy my time with my little ones any more than I have been and I am so fortunate to have a job where I am able to do this.

Of course, I am mixed with excitement and anxiety as I spend one last week at home. Going back to work means having a full time job as well as a part time job, but now with two little babes instead of one. I worry about the house, cooking dinner, and being able to have enough energy to be a good mom and wife.

This time, instead of having to find a nanny, the hubby will be staying at home with little Carter as he has been out of work since January. I am comforted knowing that the kids will have one parent around even though I know that eventhough one parent is home, the laundry and the cleaning is no more likely to be done (you all know what I mean.)

We took Stella out of day care last week to take advantage of a rare, end of winter, amazingly warm day. It was declared family time at the beach and aside from being Carter's first time there, we had a blast.

This maked me so thankful for my family and the time that we do have together. Remind me that next week when my alarm goes off at 5:30 a.m.

Keeping Stella Too Busy?

As a teacher, I have always felt bad for my students who would tell me that their afternoons and evenings were full of lessons and practice. Some of them literally would moan and groan about how they wouldn't get home until 8 pm from one thing or another. I vowed to never do that to my children.

Fast forward to having a two-and-a-half year old who wants to do EVERYTHING! Anything she sees she wants to do. So I thought I was being a good mommy when I took her to Mommy and Me swim lesson and a year old and allowed her to continue with swim lessons to this very day.

What are they doing?! (In the blue)

I found a Parent and Me soccer class through our local park program and since Stella loves kicking the ball around I enrolled us in it. It was a perfect chance to get her exposed to the premise o the game and give her a chance to run around with other kids on a Saturday morning. This was a six week class that she enjoyed.

Not long ago, Stella began to express interest in gymnastics and dance. She actually asked if we could take her to do those two things. I decided inctead of re-enrolling her for soccer, we would find a dance class through the park system to let her try out. She started the class last week and loved it.

I wonder if I am exposing her to too much. Is it that or am I doing the right thing by letting her try one thing out at a time to see what she likes? Can I make sure I don't turn into that parent that has her kids in five different activities a week?

I think as long as she is having fun and I am keeping her in her weekly swim lesson and maybe one other activity we should be good. I hope I am helping shape a well rounded young lady and not an extra curricular monster!

Check out the video of her! Hilarious!

Stella's First Dance Class

Family Fun on the 4th

BBQs, block parties, and sparklers are all part of the red, white, and blue on the 4th of July.  No matter how your family chooses to celebrate, I am sure that there are traditions in the making.

This year, we have decided to go the our city's aquarium for their 4th of July picnic and fireworks event. What better way to celebrate an already fabulous day then by spending it with the fish?  Stella is sure to have plenty to tucker her out for the night.

The biggest challenge can be keeping the kids occupied and out of trouble until the firework spectacular.  Depending on where you live, the shows can start fairly late, 9 p.m. where we live (I hope I can make it that far!)

I found some great 4th of July ideas to keep the kids busy and have fun while doing it!
Disney's 4th of July Crafts for Kids

Wishing you a safe and happy 4th of July!

Summer Is Upon Us

Now that we are officially in June, summer is upon us.

As a teacher, I am fortunate enough to have summers off, but I do understand the toll that having kids out of school can take. Some families may look forward to summer because it means relaxed schedules and spending time with the kids. Others families may view it as my parents did: A stressful couple of months of summer camps (which can be costly and difficult to plan around) to make sure the kids are safe while they are out of school.

The signs of summer have reminded me how lucky I am to live in a city where there are so many different summer camp, day camp and recreation activities available on a daily basis to occupy youngsters. With the city's recreation programs alone, kids of all ages have plenty of things to do at relatively inexpensive prices.

That goes for families too. Once the work day is through, our city has tons of ways to spend the remaining daylight hours as a family. We will have options like weekly concerts and movies in the park. There are also some evening nature walks at the local nature center. Our aquarium has just started their late night summer option as well. It is a discounted ticket to be used after 6 pm. We have passes to Disneyland but will soon be facing being blocked out for the summer - this is a good thing with high temps and even larger crowds!

Since I am now 30 weeks pregnant, we won't be taking any family vacations this summer. I also have to keep Stella enrolled in her day care so that we don't lose our spot in the fall. Although I will more than likely keep Stella home once a week,I still want to be sure that we are not sitting at home all summer long. Let's not forget about the fact that we have no air conditioning either. I may sleeping outside in a hammock as my pregnancy progresses if the weather gets too warm.

My parents never let me sit around over the summer. Of course, they had to find us a place to go since they both worked. I appreciate the fact that I never felt bored over the summers and only now do I realize the hassle that was probably involved with finding a place for us.

What are your plans this summer? Aside from vacations, what are some activities that you do to keep the kiddos entertained through those long summer days?

Stella will be continuing Saturday swim lessons.