Missing Milestones and Avoiding a Meltdown (for both mom and child)

Oops, I did it again.

Nope, not the Brittany song but the real life, mommy moments that I have. Just when I feel like a mom rock star, I do it again and feel that dreaded, pit in the stomach, "I am a mom fail" feeling all over again. 

I missed a moment. Not like a temper-tantrum moment or a "watch me mom" moment but a really, crucial, it only happens once kind of moment. 

If it sounds like I have done this more than once, you are right. And it doesn't feel good. The missed first lost tooth, the Christmas recital...and now, the second missed pre-school graduation ceremony. (Yes, I said second.) I know, I know, "it's just pre-school" says every non-mommy out there. But you all get me. And I missed it. 

Now the reasons why these things happen are not important, but what is important here is that there are ways to cope with the missed milestones, ways that will benefit both you and your
child. The bottom line is that, no matter how hard you try, unless you are Wonder Woman (and we all want to be her), you are going to miss moments. At some point in time, it is going to happen.

So, the bigger question is HOW can we cope when these moments are missed? What are some strategies to use when that time actually comes? 

I have three strategies that not only will sooth your soul, but also that of your child's.

Forgive Yourself

Memories in the Making: Celebrate by having a family adventure,
going to your favorite restaurant or making a favorite meal!

We all know that "mom guilt" is a tough one. I am sure most moms, at some point during the day feel a sense of that and it is at its strongest when we miss a special moment. You are an amazing mom. Your children are fed, clothed and loved. That is really what matters.

Talk to Your Child
Whether you know you are going to miss the special moment or realize it in hindsight, talk to your child about their accomplishment. Remind them how much you love them, how proud you are and that there is no other place that you would rather be then there with them. It is not as important to give them the reason why you were absent but rather the fact that you missed not being able to be there.

Celebrate in Your Own Way 
All things can be fixed with a proper celebration. Who needs to traditional award ceremony in the dark auditorium anyway? Decide how to celebrate and make the milestone special. Better yet, ask your child how they would like to celebrate their accomplishment. Make your little one feel special and recognize them in your own, unique, family way. These are the memories that will last.

It is not about the missed milestone but rather the make up moment. You can create the joy and celebration of what your child has accomplished on your own time and in your own way. Chin up mama, I know how important it is to be there for EVERYTHING but unless you are going to follow your kids around FOREVER (please, don't be that mom), there will be missed moments. But you and your magical mom touch can still ensure that the special moment is celebrated and captured forever. 

I Run And Now I Run For Boston

Since I pride on being able to call myself a runner, and running is the ONLY thing that I will take time and do for myself, the events at the Boston Marathon have really affected me.

I know that terrible things happen in the world, and I am always saddened and trouble by heinous acts that happen on a daily basis (so much I rarely watch the news,) but this one really got to me.

Since I have run a number of race events, my last half marathon was two weeks ago, I felt sheer horror when I saw what happened at the Boston Marathon. I had been watching the race online since it started. I watched the men’s, women’s and push winners cross the finish line. I asked my hubby if he thought Boston was a realistic goal for me. I dreamed.

And then the bombings occurred. I immediately knew what it felt like to run in a race knowing that your loved ones were waiting at the finish line. I couldn’t imagine being in the situation. My heart broke and my stomach turned over.

After some time, I had to turn the television off.

I am going to cut to the good part. And there is one. During times that seem to be the very darkest, humans always pull together to help part the clouds and let the sunshine in. So many events popped up via social media to honor, to unite, and to take a stand. I wanted to do them all.

I came across a movement called Run For Boston. It was simple, and I liked that. There were three things to do. First, run. Second, wear blue or yellow on your run. Third, make a Run For Boston sign with the name of your city on it and upload it to the Facebook page. Easy peasy.

Runners for Boston - Long Beach, CA

On Wednesday night, a group gathered at a local park. Some were part of my Galloway running group. Others just wanted to Run For Boston. We are now all friends. We had our strollers, our dogs, and the kids. It was a family affair.

We walked and ran for Boston along with thousands across the country.  We put Long Beach, CA on the map for Run For Boston.

I don’t know why I am always surprised at the compassion and love of others. I was tickled that strangers chose to come out on their own to take a run in honor of the Boston Marathon Bombings. We even had people at the park thank us for doing what we are doing.

Most importantly, our kids got to see the good that can come out of people. With the terrible events monopolizing the news, it is important that they know that love does prevail, as does compassion and strength.

There were other groups that came together this week for the same reasons. Some running groups gathered hundreds while some runners grabbed their neighbor. But to me, numbers don’t matter because in this event, we are all united for Boston.