It's All About Being a Mom

Being a mom is hard. I learned that long time ago, when I had my first child.  And just when I thought I had figured it all out, I got pregnant. And now I have two little ones. Stella is just shy of three years old and our new addition, Carter is seven months.

My reward for sucking it up.

To make things a little more complicated, I just went back to work. Back to work as in my full time job and my part-time evening job. I love both jobs so it wasn’t difficult to go back except for the fact that now all the other things that have to get done have to wait until after 5 pm.

Some people say since the hubby is home (he lost his job at the beginning of 2013,) he can do those things that need to get done around the house.  For those of you who have hubbies, you can laugh with me. Ha.

Every now and then, I feel like a superhero. And it’s a good feeling.  Yesterday, I got to work at 7 a.m. I ran home at lunch to nurse Carter. I had to be at my second job by 4:00 and got back home around 6:00. I threw dinner on the stove, put the running shoes on and hit the pavement for a four mile run. I got back in time to have dinner with my family. Granted I was sweaty but beggars can’t be choosers.

There was a day when I might have thrown myself a pity party.  I would have been bummed because I had too many things to do to go out for a run.  Or I would have felt guilty for choosing to run (which keeps me sane) and then ordering take out, or not having dinner with my kids.

But this time I grabbed the bull by the horns and took charge. It felt good.  I have learned that sometimes, you just have to suck it up. Because maybe, every now and then, you can be a good mom. And that is what it's all about.

Back to Work...Again

The time has come again. My second extended child care leave is coming to an end and I am about to transition from the world of Stay At Home Moms into that of the Working Mom. Times two.

I am so gratfeul to have been able to spend seven months at home with our little guy. The same amount of time that I had with Stella. I could not enjoy my time with my little ones any more than I have been and I am so fortunate to have a job where I am able to do this.

Of course, I am mixed with excitement and anxiety as I spend one last week at home. Going back to work means having a full time job as well as a part time job, but now with two little babes instead of one. I worry about the house, cooking dinner, and being able to have enough energy to be a good mom and wife.

This time, instead of having to find a nanny, the hubby will be staying at home with little Carter as he has been out of work since January. I am comforted knowing that the kids will have one parent around even though I know that eventhough one parent is home, the laundry and the cleaning is no more likely to be done (you all know what I mean.)

We took Stella out of day care last week to take advantage of a rare, end of winter, amazingly warm day. It was declared family time at the beach and aside from being Carter's first time there, we had a blast.

This maked me so thankful for my family and the time that we do have together. Remind me that next week when my alarm goes off at 5:30 a.m.

Mommy Needs a Meltdown

Why can’t I have a meltdown?

This is something I often wonder when I watch Stella, who is almost 3 years old, emotionally crumble when something doesn’t go her way.
 The "terrible twos" stage continues. The other day I watched her sob uncontrollably in a hunched over position after she learned that there were only orange popsicles left in the freezer.

Sometimes I want to hunch over and sob uncontrollably over things. Times in our household are not easy since we closed our retail store down at the end of last year. This has hit our pocketbooks, and our savings, which meant to supplement my income during child care leave, is dwindling away faster than we hoped.

Why can’t I just have one little meltdown?

My Meltdown Prevention Program -
finishing a half marathon last Sunday

In a world where being emotionally stable is a must, I wonder how others get through the tough times. As a parent, it is so important to model emotions in a healthy way. We need to teach our children how to be resilient and handle disappointment and frustration with a grain of salt. But sometimes, don’t we just want to scream at the top of our lungs?

I rarely cry. I keep it inside and let it build up until it eventually explodes. It maybe explodes once a year. Since our store has closed, perhaps a little more frequently.

Parents are supposed to be the “strong ones” and that just makes it even more important for us to have an outlet. Something we can do or someplace we can go to let it all out.

For me it is running. The one thing I can do on my own, in silence, alone with my thoughts. We all need a place like that. It keeps me from going into meltdown mode … most of the time.

Keeping Stella Too Busy?

As a teacher, I have always felt bad for my students who would tell me that their afternoons and evenings were full of lessons and practice. Some of them literally would moan and groan about how they wouldn't get home until 8 pm from one thing or another. I vowed to never do that to my children.

Fast forward to having a two-and-a-half year old who wants to do EVERYTHING! Anything she sees she wants to do. So I thought I was being a good mommy when I took her to Mommy and Me swim lesson and a year old and allowed her to continue with swim lessons to this very day.

What are they doing?! (In the blue)

I found a Parent and Me soccer class through our local park program and since Stella loves kicking the ball around I enrolled us in it. It was a perfect chance to get her exposed to the premise o the game and give her a chance to run around with other kids on a Saturday morning. This was a six week class that she enjoyed.

Not long ago, Stella began to express interest in gymnastics and dance. She actually asked if we could take her to do those two things. I decided inctead of re-enrolling her for soccer, we would find a dance class through the park system to let her try out. She started the class last week and loved it.

I wonder if I am exposing her to too much. Is it that or am I doing the right thing by letting her try one thing out at a time to see what she likes? Can I make sure I don't turn into that parent that has her kids in five different activities a week?

I think as long as she is having fun and I am keeping her in her weekly swim lesson and maybe one other activity we should be good. I hope I am helping shape a well rounded young lady and not an extra curricular monster!

Check out the video of her! Hilarious!

Stella's First Dance Class

Fashion Week - Stella Style

Fashionista, trendsetter or stylish have never been used to describe me.

I am not the world’s worst dresser, but on my good days, my style is attributed to whatever fashion-forward person I copied.


One of her favorite things to wear...and not on Halloween.

Sometimes I wish I could be that person who could throw on random clothes and accessories and look absolutely dashing. But I am not.

Stella appears to have been born with some generation-skipping gene that allows her to do just that. She has a certain style about her and knows what she wants. Some days her outfits are “crazy” as she likes to call them, but I can only appreciate the uncensored choices that she makes for herself.

This is all good until it is time to step outside. We (before parenthood mostly) have all looked at little kids with the crazy outfits on and thought to ourselves: “Their parents REALLY let them go out in public like that?”

Like many other situations since becoming a parent, those things are now being said about me.
I have chosen to not care. I have decided that my daughter’s (and one day my son’s) creativity and fashion freedom are more important to me than those judging stares that I get when she is in a tutu, leggings, her dad’s beanie and purple rain boots. Or, like a couple of days ago, the stares I got at Rite Aid when I took her in with her pants inside out (she happens to like the inside piping.)

Shouldn’t the strict dress codes come later on, like in her teenage years? Is it really hurting anybody that she often looks like a hobo (as my mom likes to say) or like some odd princess or garden fairy (depending on her dress up mood.)

Am I wrong here? Was my common sense more in line when I used to look at other children and wonder why their parents didn’t change their clothes? What are the fashion rules for a toddler and where can I find them?

Until I get ahold of the rule book, I am going to live vicariously through my daughter and enjoy watching her in her fashion glory with all the glitter that it holds.

In case you want to join me, just look for us around town. She is easy to spot.

Holiday Photos and Some Cheese

Family cheese

The holidays seem to be the time for family photos. Whether taking them for your Christmas cards or just an annual photo opportunity, photographers get booked up in preparation for some season’s greetings. I was never a picture person until we had Stella. Once we had our first child I realized it was important to share how our family has grown. So, in 2010, the holiday season family photos became a tradition.

I am not a very traditional person so I really wanted to capture our family in a way that was different than most family photos. I wanted to find a place that represented us in some way, without being too cookie cutter in location and pose.

I called a photographer who had actually taken a random picture of Stella at the beginning of the year; one that turned out beautifully. He was immediately my first choice for this year’s pictures, especially since we had our newest addition, Carter, to include.



And a little fun

His idea was to go to Disneyland and have a little fun while taking pictures. Being that we are there basically on a weekly basis, I thought this was a great idea.

Our family photos were a great success and I learned some things along the way.

Let them be natural! Our best shots were those caught off guard. Have fun!

Family photos can be stressful! I had extra outfits for both kids in addition to snacks, diapers, and all the other essentials that you pack on a trip to the Magic Kingdom. I was hot, sweaty and irritated until I realized that we were supposed to be having some fun. If hair was out of place or a bit of Disneyland goodness was caught on Stella’s shirt then so be it.

Photos are important. They can be expensive and a lot of work but I can’t think of anything more priceless then being able to look back at all the pictures of our growing family. Yes, if you are anything like every other parent, you take pictures all the time. But, someone (usually mom or dad) is left behind the camera. A complete family photo is a must, at least one a year.

So smile, and enjoy the “cheese”, with your family.

Superstorm Sandy Sends a Strong Reminder

In the midst of the devastation on the East Coast, I have received constant reminders in various forms that we need to be prepared for emergencies. I hope that all of you who were affected by the storm remained safe.  It is actually all of you East Coarst haute moms that I have to thank. Your suffering was my reminder.

Working for the school district, I am aware of the steps that are taken in the schools should disaster strike during the day. Blankets, extra food supplies, and evacuation plans are all a part of the districts’ attempt to keep kids safe in an emergency situation.

Precious goods

But what if our kids are at home? Is there a plan to meet should we all get separated? Could we live at home for more than a day if roads were closed or stores were shut down?

There was a part of me that for many years felt that as long as our family was together, we would be able to take on anything. That is foolish.

I began to realize we needed to do more to prepare when I began hearing tips on the news about disaster preparedness. I started talking to my husband about water supplies, food and extra batteries.

So, we got emergency kits for our home and cars. I found some reasonable kits online that were ready-made. I went for these since, although more expensive, they came with most of the recommended supplies without me having to chase them down at numerous stores.

If I had more spare time, I would not have minded hunting down all of the recommended supplies, but — considering how long it has taken me to take this first step — I figured it was best just do it all now. Knowing me, I would take my time crossing items off and get caught without something important, like drinking water.

I feel better knowing that we are prepared for an emergency situation. As I told my hubby last night while I was purchasing kits, I hope that this is something we end up storing and never needing.
As a parent, it is our responsibility to make sure we can care for our families in any situation. Whether pre-made or homemade, it never hurts to stash away supplies.