There has always been some pressure when it comes to the holidays. The pressure to decorate, find a perfect tree, send out Christmas cards, and buy the right gifts. I used to LIVE for this time of year; the holiday music, the lights, the endless shopping bags and crowded malls. Not so much anymore.
Being that this is my second Christmas as a mom, I'm feeling a different kind of pressure. The pressure to have lights up, photos with Santa taken, starting some of our own Christmas traditions. To be honest, between work, more work, training for my half marathon and just being tired, I have failed miserably. With just 5 days until Christmas, I am nowhere to being close to that partridge in a pear tree. And I am not so sure I care.
I keep telling myself that,looking back, Stella will not remember whether or not we had a tree, or what she got for Christmas this year. I can start building the memories of being loved, having family around, and being an overall exciting time without all the Christmas bells and whistles, can't I?
I read the story about all the "secret Santas" going to the Kmarts and paying off other peoples' layaways the other day. I was sobbing. Sobbing. The hubby came home and asked what had happened and I could barely choke out the story. This is what Christmas is. It is a time of giving, helping those less fortunate, being with loved ones, and spreading joy whenever possible. When did we lose sight of this? Can I bring the spirit of Christmas to my own family and teach Stella that Christmas is more than what Santa has brought her for Christmas? Or am I the true Grinch this year?
May the Christmas spirit visit me tonight...
