A Note to Self

This morning I watched my kiddos sleep soundly as I scurried around to get ready for work. Feeling the effects of summer on the horizon and what two kiddos at home has in store prompted me to coin this little note to myself. Because as many of you know, the joy that some feel when summer comes, is not always shared by us moms.

Dear Self,

I have a few things that I need to say to you. Things that cross my mind often, but like so many words and thoughts, do not get spoken out loud enough.

I am sorry. Just like the my children, you have needs. Lots of them. And while I answer my children's needs and ensure that they have all that is required to be happy and healthy, I do not do the same for you. I sometimes ignore what you are telling me, asking you to go without rest, food and heck, sometimes even water. I expect you to stop complaining and deal with it even though the needs that you have are so easy to fulfill. I would never ask that of a loved one and, unlike my little ones, at some point you just stop complaining.

Thank you. While I push you around, ignore your protests and place expectations on you that I would never place on a loved one, you continue to come through for me. You find energy, strength and  courage in all that I ask you to do. You are tireless and relentless in all that you do.

You deserve more. There are so many times where I think about pampering you. Getting a massage to ease your tired muscles, a pedicure to console your feet (that carry me for miles - literally) and whisking you away on a vacation where you can rest in peace and quiet. But I don't do these things as much as I think about them and you remain ignored yet faithful.

I know that you feel that summer is coming. And while so many relish in what that means, I know for you, it means less peace, less quiet. more activity, more chores and more energy. I can feel you quietly asking me to allow you to take a load off before the little ones are home everyday, playing tirelessly and relentlessly.

I will whisper more promises in your ear - promises of quiet time and pampering although it may only be for a few minutes a day. But unlike many, you will appreciate those few minutes and restore yourself quickly so that I can be a tireless, ambitious, energetic, marathoning mom. And know that, if I forget to tell you daily, I love and appreciate you and what you allow me to do.

I am nothing without you.

Love,
Yourself

Huate Mom Goes Marathoner

Sometimes, with a family to manage, things seem impossible. There is no time, no help and too much to do. This past weekend I learned that nothing is impossible.

Last April I set a goal that seemed to be unreachable. At the Hollywood Half Marathon Expo, I walked past the Long Beach IBC Marathon booth and signed up for the full marathon. Although I was a seasoned half marathon runner, I had never given serious thought to running the full 26.2 miles. Who knows what was in the air that day, the smell of new running shoes maybe, but I did it. I signed up.
From that day the training began. Little by little, I plugged away building towards my marathon. I planned, I ran, I sacrificed. And so did my family.

While running is obviously a big part of my lifestyle, taking on the task of completing 15-, 20- and 23-mile training runs is a whole other ball game. Goodbye quick morning jogs; hello long three to four hour runs.

I often stopped along the way to reconsider. Training for the marathon was cutting into my already busy schedule and taking away from my family.

But, for anyone who knows me,  I don’t back down. I do what I commit to, and I had already committed to my first full marathon. In my mind, I had to do this for myself and there was no going back.

On Sunday, October 13, I awoke at 3:30 am. The cool fall weather I had been hoping for promised to hold out long enough to get through my big day. I said goodbye to my children the night before and, leaving them behind with my mom, the hubby and I drove downtown in the dark.

Standing in the corral at the marathon start, I knew I had done the right thing. All of the time, the training and the sacrifice had been worth it. I was about to check an item off my bucket list.
There were a number of times on course where my children came to mind. My heart and my soul stayed focused on the things that give me strength.

As a mom, there are so many opportunities that we shrug off because of our families, busy schedules and time constraints. Yet I learned that sometimes, seizing an opportunity can be a positive experience for the whole family. It gives us pride as well as reminders of strength and ability. I am so fulfilled by my marathon completion.

I watch Stella walk around with my medal around her neck and know that all the hard work has given my children a positive lesson in never giving up. It will remind them to go for the goals that they may think are impossible. And, this experience reminds me of how wonderful it is to be a haute mom.